Anniversaries - A Piece of Your Life - Time Well Spent
  I’ve spoken at many organizational banquets and events where recognition was a key element of the evening. In my mind recognition generally falls into two categories,  achievement and anniversary. Achievement can be many things such as creating value, selling, partnering, performance, excellence etc. The 2nd category, the anniversary, is one I have a growing admiration for. Anniversary represents time spent, or life spent…because a measure of someone’s time is a measure of their life.
 Main Street /Busey Bank recognize their new associates (those who have joined the team since the last meeting. Then they recognize the 5 year group, 10 year group, 15 year group and so on until they hit the 30 year group. Think about that…30 years! At 40 hours a week that equals 62,400 hours! That is significant piece of someone’s life and potentially suggests some very positive things about the organizational culture as well as the loyalty and commitment of the individual. Hopefully it has been time well spent.
I’m in the Netherlands with my wife Rebecca and yesterday we celebrated our 18th anniversary. 18 years ago we were married….and 18 years ago she was only 18 years old. In January of this year I remember her saying to our children, “This year your father and I celebrate our 18th anniversary. This year I will have spent more of my life with him than without him.”
  
I remember when she said those words that they really struck me as being quite significant, even sacred. I remember thinking “WOW, more of her life with me than without me?” Trying to understand everything this implied seemed impossible then and still escapes me now. But I remember thinking about how grateful I was for the willing investment of her life into our relationship and into me. Her words have played through my mind again and again and I’m not sure a day has gone by since they were spoken that I haven’t reflected on them.
On August the 8th the midpoint was passed…and now on August the 9th it’s official. She has spent more of her life with me, than without me. Showing her the depth of my gratitude for this investment, and for her, is not something I can begin to imagine being able to do. A nice dinner out won’t do it. A fancy gift, a trip to Amsterdam, or any combination of things cannot begin to express my appreciation for her life that she has freely and exclusively given to me and to our children.
We spoke today about what love, real love is and what it isn’t. The world says we “fall in love”. Rebecca says, we “grow in love”.  Rebecca favorite definition of love is profound in its simplicity and endless in it’s implication… “Love”, she says, “is going through things together.”
We are constantly going through things together with people personally and professionally. We are sharing time, a piece of our lives, with them and they with us. Let’s strive to honor that more by valuing it, recognizing it, and celebrating it so that as we and those we spend it with reflect on it…. The over arching sentiment might be…
That it was “Time will spent”.
The T4D may be a bit intermittent this week….but it’s not because I have forgotten you…it’s just because I may be more distracted than usual by this incredible person I am spending time with.
Kirk Out
August 9th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Happy anniversary Kirk and Rebecca. Please enjoy the time you have together, and don’t worry about us. Though we will all miss you, you share enough to fill us up for months and months.
And Rebecca - thank you for sharing Kirk with us so freely over the years. The impact he has made is enough to last 10 lifetimes. His advice and friendship has changed my life in such an amazing, incredible way, I have no way of ever hoping to repay him. You are a lucky lady, and he a lucky man.
Bless you both on this trip…and every trip. Know that you are loved and appreciated greatly, today, and every day!
August 10th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Happy Anniversary you two!
August 10th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Happy Anniversary - it is a wonderful milestone. My wife and I were also married at 18 and could not imagine what the road might bring us. After 18 years, my wife made a similar comment, now after 38 years we can not imagine anything else. We have had a wonderful life with 2 children and 5 grandchildren. It looks like you are on a similar path — keep up the wonderful focus.
I will second Phil’s comment — Thank you Rebecca for sharing Kirk with us.
August 10th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Happy anniversary!
May you have many more incredible years together growing in love, impacting others and enjoying your most precious assets.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Happy, happy times! Thanks for sharing your reflections, both in word and in photo! Congratulations to both of you, and may your definition of “love” cotinue to play out in your lives each and every day. As Kirk has so well taught me, and Rebecca I’m sure also knows this, it’s not the dinner-out, not the trip-of-a-lifetime — it’s the unexpected moments in life, when you know based on actions, words, touches that your husband/wife truly believes in you, truly wants the best for you.
August 10th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I came upon that realization the year I turned 43. I had been on this earth more years with my married name than my maiden name. It made me reflect on the turn of events that caused me to pick this man to share my life with–for the rest of our lives. And I think that committment really hits home, Kirk, when your own children choose their spouse, and tell you that your marriage is testament to working things out–to not giving up–to not taking the fast food/fast service attitude. A relationship is something that builds, that grows, that is never static!
Congratulations to your 18 years of marriage! May God continue to richly bless you!
August 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Kirk,
Happiest Anniversary to you and Rebecca! What a thought provoking message. My husband and I will celebrate our 28th Anniversary on August 29. I was 21 when we were married. Wow. Plus, I hit 30 years of emolyment at LZB in Oct (God willing). That IS a bunch of hours. AND I turn 50 this year in Oct.! A big year for me…..many blessings…..
Enjoy your trip!
Karen
August 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
You spoke at one of our leadership conferences in Bloomington, Il. shortly after we opened our first Customer Response Center in 1998. I’ve enjoyed your insights since that time-thanks for all you do! I hope you had a great trip to the Netherlands and Happy Anniversary—last week was my 24th so next year will be a great milestone for me and the love of my life, Sheila J
August 10th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Happy Anniversary. I have to tell you, I love hearing you speak about your wife and children. I have heard you speak, maybe 4 times, and each time, you find a way to slip a story in about them and I am again reminded, what true love looks and sounds like. My parents have been married over 50 years.
What a statement from your wife and you. You all are a great looking couple. Hope you all are having a blast. MIchelle Cambridge
August 10th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Kirk& Rebecca:
Happy 18th Anniversary! The time I have spent with you in both physical being and through your T4D’s has been time well spent! By sharing your personal life with me I have found inspiration, admiration, and growth with my own family. We all love in different ways but the time we spend with loved ones is precious. Whether it is mowing a heart in the lawn or a quiet hug and a whisper I love you, both are moments that nurture love.
Justine and I celebrate 19 years this October and I can’t imagine what my life would have been without her and my children. As you said Kirk, words are never enough but they need to be said. Our family says I love you to each other a hundred times a day or more and our kids sometimes don’t get why we say I love you even when Justine and I are just taking a short walk with the dogs. Justine and I know our time with them is short and it is so simple but powerful to confirm our love for them and each other constantly.
You two are blessed. I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to know you. God Bless and Happy Anniversary!!
Rich Hand
August 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
This is great Kirk. Thank you for sharing some of your most precious and private thoughts with us. This makes me want to be better and appreciate more. Happy Anniversary to a Power Couple if there ever was one. You guys are incredible examples and we are very happy for you and look forward to the same great accomplishment of growing together over a magical 18 years…in ten more for us.
~ jason
August 10th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Happy Anniversary! You are two truly amazing people and I feel so blessed to know you! What a statement that makes Kirk!
I can’t wait to read the next book you write—the one that has chapters about things like this…..
You and Rebecca are beautiful people…inside and out……and a beautiful couple….both on your wedding day and after 18 years later.
Congratulations to you both!
Heather
August 11th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Thanks for your nice anniversary thoughts. Today
my wife and I are celebrating 36 GREAT years together.
May your 18 years be doubled with the happiness
that we have had!
Mike