I want to kick off this wonderful new year with a couple of thoughts that I think can bless both our personal and professional lives as we look more closely at our words and our tendency to be crtical of things we can’t imagine. 

THOUGHT ONE

We were having a family discussion about why some kids and adults seem to find it necessary to tease, berate, call names or bully others.  I was impressed with the reasons my kids came up with which follows.

They are insecure

They don’t feel good about themselves and don’t want anyone else too feel good either

They feel threatened in some way by the person they are attacking (lot’s of possibilities with this one - Jealousy & Envy probably the leading causes)

They don’t like themselves

They don’t really understand who they are

After a good discussion about how what we say to others and how we treat them is much more a reflection of us than anyone else I felt a renewed confidence in my children’s ability to respond to people who are critical of them.

It’s been my experience that people who have the strongest sense of who they are spend the least amount of time talking critically of others, or worrying about what they may think.  

THOUGHT  TWO

Recently someone criticized a political candidate that I admire in many ways calling him a phony.  I asked the critic on what grounds did he consider him a phony.  His reply, “Nobody has a family like that, their all a bunch of fakes.”  

“Like what?” I said, probing for specifics.

The critic responded, “You know, that all get along and have family discussions without talking over one another, acting all respectful and stuff….families just don’t look, talk, or act that way.”

I knew immediately the video clip he was referring too… it was one of main reasons I identified with the candidate.  What my friend was calling phony, was to me, a living reality.  What he couldn’t fathom as being real,  is how I would like to think, my own family culture operates “most” of the time.  But since what my friend saw was so far from any reality of his own life experiences, he couldn’t bring himself to accept that it could be genuine.  In his mind families really could not act and communicate in that manner.  In his mind the only explanation for it was it must have been a phony.

As I was pondering on these 2 thoughts - an idea came into my mind that I have tried to capture below.

What we can’t imagine or envision as a reality in our own lives, we often dismiss as a fanciful fantasy or phony in the lives of others.  In so doing we stop ourselves from not only seeing another potentially better way, but of becoming better ourselves.  Kirk Weisler

Make 2008 Great by remembering - “That Your Life Will Get Better as You Do”

Kirk Out